I’m in London for a High School trip and the girls decide to go to the store and get some snacks while the guys stay at the Hotel. The girls come back with snacks and an address to a club in Piccadilly Circus (London’s Time Square). At about 10:30 I show up at the girls’ room ready to go but they chickened out. I decide to go by myself, but luckily my friend Fernando decides to accompany me.
We leave, hop on the metro, arrive at Piccadilly and begin looking for this club. As we’re looking we go down this classic London street; medium height, soot lined buildings on a narrow cobble stone road. While walking we see a beautiful women sitting under a flashing sign which says “girls girls girls.” We head over and she says “Lapdances for 5 pounds” in this sexy french accent. We decline but tell her if we can’t find our club then we will be back. We don’t find the club. Next thing we know we’re following a French women down two flights of stairs, the corridor was narrow and lined with red velvet. We enter this small room where there is a sofa seating about 5 girls, 2 large bouncers, and one older black women behind a desk. The French women leads us to an even smaller room, where Fernando and I share a 2 person seat with a coffee table separating us and the French women. She begins to chat with us. She then introduces us to the girls, we tell her which two we like, she steps out and in comes the older black women (known as lady marmalade from now on). Lady Marmalade proceeds to tell us that because the French women was a host to our party we owe 150 lbs each. We keep it cool and I tell Marmalade that we don’t have that kind of money and get up to go. She whistles and one of the two extremely large gentlemen block the door, we’re trapped. She forces us to show her our wallets. She empties out both wallets. 90 lbs from mine and about 40 from Fernando’s. At that point I’m scared and angry. She then pulls out two sheets of paper, some sort of contract, pulls both of our ID’s and begins to take down all of our information. She then tells us that we “have approximately 3 days to pay” her what we owe or she will find us and take it. The craziest thing is she makes us sign this ridiculous piece of paper. Even crazier is how stupid I am.I signed in what was not my signature. Marmalade notices, flips out and begins yelling, “YOU DUMB @#@#$$$! SIGN THE #$#@ PAPER CORRECTLY, SIGN THE @@##$$% PAPER AGAIN!!!” She then notices I have an ATM card and she tells me that I’m going to be escorted to an ATM machine to clean out my account…
I tell her that I only have a savings account which is inaccessible overseas (which is true). She yells and makes me go anyway. I stand up and say, “Fernando let’s go,” but she replies, “He stays.” So, as I’m walking up the 2 flights of stairs with a monster of a man my mind is going 100 miles per hour. I’m thinking about running and getting help, but that would in danger Fernando. I’m thinking that I could just signal a Bobby or maybe do this or that and who knows what… anything I did could relate to Fernando being hurt or killed. Adrenaline like I’ve never felt before is coursing through my veins as I swipe my card at an ATM machine outside a crowded arcade. The card doesn’t work, as i said it wouldn’t, the monster tries for himself and sees that it doesn’t work so we head back.
As we are walking back I flip out, ” WE ARE #$@@@ HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS FROM CALIFORNIA, WE’RE ONLY 16. YOU ROBBED US! WHAT THE %%%&&! I TOLD YOU THE ATM DIDN’T WORK! ##@$$ 5 DOLLAR LAP DANCE! WHAT THE $$##@%% MAN!!!” He tells me to calm down and that he will tell marmalade that we have no more money and to let us go. Then I see the scariest thing of the night. The stool which the French women sat on was gone, the “girls girls girls” sign wasn’t flashing or even flicking. I then realized we could have disappeared off the face of the earth and not one person could have even began to know where to search. The teachers thought that we were in our rooms, the girls that we were at a club, and this place might as well not exist. I’m following the beast back down the corridor, he walks over to Lady Marmalade and whispers in her ear, she slams her book on the desk and yells, “GET THE ##@@$% OUT OF HERE!!!” I holler for Fernando and he pops out of the tiny “host” room, he looked so scared. Fernando sprints up the stairs, I survey the room once more, lock eyes with the gorgeous French women, shake my head in disgust and whisper, “That was #@$% up,” then dash for the door myself. Fernando And I are running and letting out screams of relief, frustration, and pure fear as street and subway musicians play on. We both even acknowledged that it felt like we were in a movie. We get back to the hotel, the girls saw right through us, they knew something happened without either of us uttering a syllable. The oldest one in the group, Graciella (18 and legally able to drink in the UK), takes us to the hotel bar, buys us two Jack Daniels on the rocks, and I begin to tell her our story… my hands still trembling.
