“I am moving to North Carolina”, that’s what my sister told me and my mother, back in July of this year. My mom who lost her job and home, during this recession was living with my sister in Richmond, VA, while I was attending school at Virginia State University. Once, my freshman year was completed, I had no place to go but with my mom and sister, who had now moved to Woodbridge, VA, closer to my sister’s job in Washington DC.
My mom and I were trying to find a job but nothing was working, so my sister became very resistant towards us. So, in July she decided to move to North Carolina with her daughter to live with my cousin and her children. Me and my mother was stuck, I can remember sitting in the bathroom with a knife to my chest, just crying. “I don’t know what to do”, talking to my girlfriend on the phone. She was trying to calm me down but it didn’t work. I eventually put the knife down, stop crying because I thought where is crying going to get me?
We helped my sister move, and she sent us back to Alexandria, VA, on a train. Over the next few days, we lived in hotels and motels, trying to find a homeless shelter to sleep in. We finally got into a shelter and stayed out there for a week. Then, my aunt in New Jersey, told my mom to come live with her, but my mom didn’t want to live me by myself. I knew I’d be fine. Since then, my mom and I are doing better, I haven’t really talked to my sister, and my girlfriend and I are still together. But, there’s still a problem, I’m not in school.
One night, I remembered my girlfriend telling me about University of Maryland, she said that’s where a lot of students at her community college transfer to. So, I looked the University up and became very interested. All, I want is an opportunity to better myself and get an education. The lesson that I learned during the time me and my mother were homeless was, I don’t want to be here again, in that situation. The best way I can guarantee that, is education. I believe the University can provide that for me. “People don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan”, that quote has stuck with me since high school, and now I am planning, and I don’t want to fail….
But, the worst happened I didn’t get accepted to the school, lost my job and things weren’t looking any brighter. I was lost, my girlfriend was turning away from me, she says, “I need a man, Amir, I love you, I just can’t be with you till you get yourself together”. How you could blame her, I mean, here I was 19 years old, dropped out of college, no job, barely able to pay my rent, no car, and don’t know what to do with my life. Tell me about struggle or being confused, but coming up to DC helped me realize that my situation isn’t as bad as it could be. Things happen for a reason, we all know this, and it’s true. Just think back when you going run across the street to work to get something for lunch, then walks in your boss saying, “Lunch isn’t till 1pm”. All of sudden, you look outside the window to see that, someone got hit by a car or there was a car accident.
Some people have failed to realize that, as much as they think their lives are hard right now. There is someone who is doing 10 times worst, I mean at the time I didn’t have no job, little money, but I wasn’t on the street. I was fortunate that my landlords understood my situation and worked with me. I can real busy though, I loved my girlfriend, I really do, she’s the bright spot in my life, she wants to be happy, so we are now currently taking a break, till everything is straight with me. I have actually found a job, I am still living at the same place over on Northeast, and going to start school later this month to be a police officer or work in cyber space crimes. I have come back to my first true loves, writing and music. Writing just lets me be free, I can tell the world my pain, my struggles, and once I write it, then I can put it all behind me. Music just lets me express myself, I am somewhat of a shy individual, but when it comes to music I just let it all out.
I have no regrets, because like I stated earlier, things happen for a reason, sometimes you find out why and sometimes you don’t, that’s life. My struggles over the past 2 years have molded me into the person I will become in the future. My mother is my motivation, she is 58 years old and has worked for over 25 years and still has to work, and I want that to stop. My sister talks to me now, and my friend/girlfriend is doing well, we still talk, just growing up and taking things slow. What’s your story? What’s your purpose? Me personally, I don’t know yet, but I can’t wait to find out, I’m Rising up to the challenge…..
