Everything that happens to anybody happens because of chance. However, one does have to take some responsibility in the way certain introductions to life’s myriad episodes are followed through.
One of my intimate relationships started out thusly: One Saturday back in the early ’80s, and as per my usual weekend routine, I was loitering around in a noted hip record store in Philadelphia. Then I spotted her… a woman who had caught my eye before in fleeting moments as I walked the downtown streets of Philly. Physically, she was my ideal. Now here she was just a few steps away from me. But being your typical introverted mess, I was at a loss about how I would actually do something about this infatuation. I walked out of the store, feeling like a loser. Moping towards my next destination, I suddenly stopped myself. “No, Jeffrey, this time you’re not going to run away from Fate!” I forced myself to run back to the store. She was still there! I introduced myself with some inane small talk about music. She obviously thought I was a creep, but I was persistent. When a shy person finally gets some courage, he or she becomes totally committed to the cause.
It was the beginning of a three-year relationship that turned out to be, for the most part, a pretty unhappy experience.

I came across an internship my freshman year of college, it involved straight commission sales and marketing, very exciting. The following three years I took my gamble and learned a lot. Sometimes, it seems people are better off doing the safest bets, but I have an entrepreneurial spirit. It seems that although my third summer proved to be as unsuccessful as my second, I discovered something within myself- an ability to focus so intensely on a future event, that it ultimately ends up happening just as I predicted. I decided to practice this new found energy on what better task than picking up girls. Fortunately for me, the one-nighter ended up inviting me to future get togethers, where I met her. A mutual friend, someone I consider near and dear to me, and am still with, pseudo-dating.

Connie Noll worked as a conference coordinator in Collins Hall at the U.S. Army War College in Carlisle, PA. At 4:00 PM July 15, 1994, Connie turned off her computer, wished her office mates a great weekend, and left Collins Hall. She made the right-hand turn into the driveway at 3095 Ritner Highway and hit the garage door opener. As the garage door slowly rose, she noticed that her husband’s Cherokee was parked to the side of its normal spot. Then she saw him. “Oh my God, Jack! What have you done?” she cried out. The scene was macabre, like something out of a horror movie. As the garage door finished opening, Connie saw Jack hanging from a rope tied to a ceiling joist.

On Monday, July 25, I had a meeting with Connie Noll. This was the first time that I had met her, and I had no idea what she had just been through. We discussed the details of a conference that I was hosting in September. I left Collins Hall en route to the hospital in Harrisburg. My wife Barbara was in the hospital fighting for her life after an eighteen-month battle with breast cancer. Two days later, her breathing and her heart stopped. The doctors were able to revive her, but the prognosis was not good. She remained in a coma for twenty-one days before she finally passed away. The date was August 16, 1994, a month and one day after the death of Jack Noll.

On September 14, I went to Collins Hall to start greeting guests that were coming to the conference. I saw Connie Noll and we exchanged greetings. During our discussion she said that a co-worker told her about the loss of my wife and she offered her condolences. I thanked her and we talked briefly. I still had no idea of her personal situation. Later that day one of the War College professors asked me if I knew that Connie had just lost her husband. I felt stunned and embarrassed. I got up from my chair and went looking for Connie. When I found her I told her I had just learned about her husband, and I was terribly sorry I hadn’t returned her condolences. Connie said, “That’s okay, you wouldn’t have any reason to know.” It did not make me feel any less of a heel, but at least I had told her how I felt. I saw Connie again late in the afternoon of the second day of the conference, just before one of the breaks. We were alone in the break area. We exchanged greetings and Connie suggested maybe we ought to get together to talk. I agreed that sharing our pain and suffering was probably a good idea.

I moved to Fort Leavenworth one week later. Connie and I maintained our long distance friendship that soon developed into a mutual love. We married on September 30th 1995 and will celebrate fifteen wonderful years together in 2010.

I met my boyfriend in California in January 2008. After 3 months with him, he had gotten laid off from his job and had a job offer in Oregon. He had asked me to move with him. I was skeptical at first because I’ve been with him for such a short time but I decided to go for it because I was young, had no kids, and I might as well enjoy the adventure. I ended up LOVING Oregon! February 2009, he had gotten laid off again. He had gotten a job offer in Colorado in late September 2009. He had asked me to move again. I did not want to move because I was going back to school and the out-of-state tuition for Colorado colleges where too expensive for me. If I had decided to move then I won’t be able to follow him until December of 2009 when the fall term classes ended for my college. To be honest, I thought there was a very slim chance that I would go to Colorado and our relationship was rocky and I doubted it would survive a long distance relationship. I really wanted to stay in Oregon. He left to leave the morning of October 1st and we said our goodbyes. I went to work that day and I was laid off. There was no way I would be able to find a job to support myself and pay for school while living in the nation’s top 40 financially stressed counties due to the economic situation. The job oppurtunities in my area were sparse so I knew that I would have to move out of there to find employment.

Two weeks later, I had moved out to Colorado to join my boyfriend. I do not know yet if I’m meant to be with him but I do know that I’m meant to be in Colorado at this point in my life. In the two weeks that I’ve been here, I have had two job interviews and two other prospective employers that have been duly interested in me. I have also applied to the local community college and hope to start school again in spring. I do not love it yet as much as I did Oregon so it is too soon for me to tell but I at least know that I can survive here.