There is much to tell about my life. Part of it beings with my mother not being by my side since I was 1 year old. I’ve always believed things happen for a reason, so all the experiences I go through always have something to teach me. My mother not being there has led me to strengthen myself in all aspects. Not to bad-talk my father or anything, but I learned to cope with him. Throughout my life I had a sense of not wanting to be a part of this world. Until the age of 18 when I was put into the hospital for MRSA. It was only then that I learned to value life. This experience alone made me realize that I have been given a second chance at life to accomplish something. I’ve yet to know what it will be, but I will attempt to touch as many peoples lives as I possibly can. There is much more to tell, but it is to much for me to cover here. I’ll be more than willing to share it with you all.
Posts Tagged Life
Story of my Life
Feb 25
Believe………
Jan 20
Migrated to the US at 3 yrs old. Raised with wise guys but kept my Latino roots. Joined the USMC at 17 Travel the world. I love Latin music and it became part of my survival. I have been fortunate to have met and performed with legendary musician. Dealt with drug abuse and betrayal. Honored my mother and love my children but the system took my life away due to my divorce. Now I begin life again and many doors open on my way to a Grammy! I thank God Everyday and Believe!
A New beginning
Jan 20
I went through a divorce and made a great living, but got divorced and left with nothing. I took her debt and mine to save her from bad credit. I had to file bankruptcy….but then I started over. Not even a year after filing, I bought a home again. I fought for custody of my son and won. I met new friends, that brought me into great situations. One was a received a whole house of furniture and misc, all for fifty dollars…Life just gets better all the time.
One night my brother and I were arguing about whether or not our lives are predetermined before we’re ever born. My brother, Mike, said yes, life is predetermined, it doesn’t matter what you do, your destiny will be what it will be. I said “Bullshit!” Our lives are determined by every decision we make every minute of every day.
Am I still a survivor?
Nov 18
I’m Amna, born in Iraq 1980 at he time of the Iraqi-Iranian war. I am 29 years old. Each year is a story, what i can remember to forget.
I can see myself when my mother ran with her children from road to road for our safety. Till 1990 the American-Iraqi 1st Gulf war and what’s happen for my family when traveling to middle of Iraq to run away from the hot spot of the war, “Basra City” the city i were born. Then what I have seen from stories there , the embargo and how we feel hungry while the American and Sadam system all against the people.
till 2003 and the last war and whats happen with the american soldier in the roads , till i worked with the american army and now how i see the Iraqi people from an american eyes and how they deail with the situation, till I worked with the US department of State at the U.S. embassy and now how i deal with the political issues with the Iraqis from an American eyes again. till I run away and arrive to Uited State from the certin murder from the militia .
its very long life for this 29 age and with whole interesting stories for each single days.
Phase Two To Life!
Nov 7
New resident to Miami in 1980. Coming from the North and having to adapt to where life was much faster, you turned 18 but acted as 25. Learned make up, fashion , salsa and clubbing. Life was fun, yet to fast. Life was about what you had , not who you were. Began to study, work and party. Met my boyfriend at a club. He wined and dined me till we conceived our only child. The fairytale wedding every little girl dreams of was being hit by reality. We began to live together, struggled to make ends meet. A court wedding , upset family members because we were having a child. I felt stripped from life’s dream, Cinderella wedding, bridal shower, baby shower and what was suppose to be joyous moments. My marriage was a prison sentence. Controlled by a man who was not a bad person but only practiced what he saw as a child in his home. Controlled every aspect, my career, my decisions, my friends, my clothing, food choices, etc. Lost all rights to any choices. My situation was critical. I had my father in prison, and I was trapped with a child on the way. To only find out it was going to get worse. I lived locked up. He had me believing this was all for my safety. I gave up on life to live and be who he wanted. Food and work became my obsessions. Made a run for it when my child was born. Called police and left, and slowly during his child visitations he drew me right back. I remarried him for 18 more years. Only because I thought he is my child’s father, its the right thing to do. My child lost his childhood and his rights to any decisions at 18. Life became a business to the three of us. Finally came the day I awaited, my son said he wanted out. The only reason I had returned. So he left and I had to make my exit carefully. I woke up and asked him to remove the alarm. I told him I had a pedicure appointment. It was the only thing I was allowed to do on my own.
When I drove off I never returned. I left everything behind and only left with the clothes on my back. However, I had the most valuable things. A chance to live phase two. Many don’t get this. This is a story for all the women who may think this is normal and its not. Laycee Dugard has been asked why didnt she leave her kidnapper. I can relate. You are convinced that you are worth nothing and there is no better life. Its a comfort zone even though its wrong. Its a mental challenge to overcome but can be done. Through aot of faith and fighting what these controllers wants you to believe. Its a story about never giving up and living a hope.
3am baby
Nov 5
I was tired but couldn’t sleep. I crawl out of bed to smoke a cigarette. I realize that I don’t have any cigarettes left. I start calmly searching my empty packs. I light a couple long butts and breathe in the smoke. They don’t quench the nicotine need I have. I stare out one of the three windows that make up my largest wall daring myself to leave. I slip into my jeans and my old cowboy boots, no socks. Run a hand through my hair and head down the stairs. On my way out of the building I hold the door open for two very young, drunk scene kids who moved into the room above me. Without a thank you they push past me and stumble up the stairs falling over each other and laughing. I feel like an old man at 27. I stare down Washington st and start towards Colfax. It’s a walk I’ve made countless times. It takes me to the Denver public library where I spend my days reading and people watching. There is an all night bodega near Toms Diner where I can buy cigarettes; I just hope I have enough. I scrounged all the change I had left on my window ledge. I had been saving it for just such an emergency. Money is hard to find after rent is due. My useless Literature degree doesn’t help pay the bills. I wait for the light to change at the corner of Colfax and pearl reading the bill board. A prostitute walks behind me wearing a red bikini and fake mink coat. She’s black woman with a bad weave and red acrylic nails and missing a couple teeth. We are the only two people on the street. It’s unusual for Colfax to be this deserted, even for 3:30am on a Tuesday. She says to me in a very horse voice, ‘Hey baby, looking for something fun tonight? I can make you feel great.’
‘No, thanks’ I say back still waiting for the light to change.
She asks again ‘Baby, I can make you feel so good. Better than you’ve ever felt’
I smile and reply ‘no thanks.’ She smiles back and starts to fidget with her weave and stares down at her shoes. We walk slowly across the street; she keeps my lazy pace with me. Across the street she says again ‘Baby, tonight, I’m free. I will make you feel better than anyone else ever has; you look like you need it.’
I look at her for probably a beat too long and I say ‘No, but thanks.’ We walk our separate ways on Colfax, both taking a minute to look over our shoulders and glance at each other. We were the royalty of Colfax, owners of the endless neon street. We walk away, both smiling, knowing we gave each other exactly what we needed. She knew I needed to feel wanted and I knew she needed someone to tell her No.
