New resident to Miami in 1980. Coming from the North and having to adapt to where life was much faster, you turned 18 but acted as 25. Learned make up, fashion , salsa and clubbing. Life was fun, yet to fast. Life was about what you had , not who you were. Began to study, work and party. Met my boyfriend at a club. He wined and dined me till we conceived our only child. The fairytale wedding every little girl dreams of was being hit by reality. We began to live together, struggled to make ends meet. A court wedding , upset family members because we were having a child. I felt stripped from life’s dream, Cinderella wedding, bridal shower, baby shower and what was suppose to be joyous moments. My marriage was a prison sentence. Controlled by a man who was not a bad person but only practiced what he saw as a child in his home. Controlled every aspect, my career, my decisions, my friends, my clothing, food choices, etc. Lost all rights to any choices. My situation was critical. I had my father in prison, and I was trapped with a child on the way. To only find out it was going to get worse. I lived locked up. He had me believing this was all for my safety. I gave up on life to live and be who he wanted. Food and work became my obsessions. Made a run for it when my child was born. Called police and left, and slowly during his child visitations he drew me right back. I remarried him for 18 more years. Only because I thought he is my child’s father, its the right thing to do. My child lost his childhood and his rights to any decisions at 18. Life became a business to the three of us. Finally came the day I awaited, my son said he wanted out. The only reason I had returned. So he left and I had to make my exit carefully. I woke up and asked him to remove the alarm. I told him I had a pedicure appointment. It was the only thing I was allowed to do on my own.
When I drove off I never returned. I left everything behind and only left with the clothes on my back. However, I had the most valuable things. A chance to live phase two. Many don’t get this. This is a story for all the women who may think this is normal and its not. Laycee Dugard has been asked why didnt she leave her kidnapper. I can relate. You are convinced that you are worth nothing and there is no better life. Its a comfort zone even though its wrong. Its a mental challenge to overcome but can be done. Through aot of faith and fighting what these controllers wants you to believe. Its a story about never giving up and living a hope.
