I wake up every morning thinking nothing is left.
I’m wrong our daughter is still here but the love of my life is not. He’s been gone for 8 months and still every morning its like a shock again that hes gone.
Had to leave the house, pack up and get rid of stuff there meant a lot, how do you move on from feeling everything is gone.
I wish i knew the answer and I wish I could tell our daughter IT WILL BE OKAY but I can’t say it and mean it.
There is just noting left NOTHING but sadness that is not gone.
Our daughter says mom is there anyway to bring papa back hate saying no baby it’s just you and me and all the memories.
Right now the memories are hard to deal with and she thinks i’m not sad because i try to be strong for her.
It seem like there is nothing left no love no joy and i no longer have no answers…. why is all there is left and that’s pretty much nothing…

I was a 22-year-old single mom with a four month old baby boy, living in a tiny room at my brother’s home when I decided to do something drastic. I had virtually no money to my name, was honorably discharged from the army before that, then worked in Baghdad as a civil contractor six months after the war started there, then found myself in a tough situation financially and back in Wisconsin. What I did ended up surprising everyone.
I sold all of our belongings when my son was only 4 months old – to move to Thailand. With the little money that I had, after selling the one thing I needed most to succeed online – my computer – I had enough cash to buy two one-way tickets to Thailand. I had an interest in making money online but wasn’t very knowledgeable in it when I decided to take this leap of faith. I lived there years earlier for 6 months as a Rotary Youth Exchange student, and thought I could afford to live there and take care of my son while starting a business online. Looking back it sounds unrealistic – but it worked out beautifully.
When we arrived, with our two suitcases in hand, we moved into a small studio apartment in northern Thailand. I faced opposition with my landlord about getting the Internet setup, so I ended up using the apartment building’s switchboard line (one of the four they had for hundreds of residents) to use an internet card and dial up. It was very difficult, but by the fourth month of doing endless learning from those who I saw as “online gurus,” I made more money than I had in the entire previous year when I had a high paying job in Iraq. I did that in one month. That is where my online marketing story began, and as a result, I wrote a book called Honest Riches. I became a published author with the online book selling over 30,000+ copies and a paperback that was published in 2009.
My life has drastically changed as a result of all the events that ensued over the years – and I feel blessed to have embarked on so many adventures with my son. We traveled the world as a result of the hard work and making money online. We went to Disneyland in Paris, met the world’s tallest man in Ukraine, went to Bahrain, Cabo San Lucas and many more places. I do not want to sound as though I am bragging, but I truly feel grateful for the way things turned out – as the first part of my life was very different. I think to really follow your dreams and your heart at times, it can be very scary but can create the greatest experiences of your lifetime. I still work online, help others and continue writing – my next book is about my time in Iraq.

i have one brother named tony and three sisters names Jessica, Laura, and Ruby. I’m the middle child, my mother Debra was taking all of us to school, I was mad because I aint wanna go to school first I wanted my mom to take t.j. which is tony but we call him t.j. and jessica first … so when she dropped me off school I aint get out the care so she went and called the princple and my brother told me and told me to run … so i did .. i ran, far into the deep woods in the country.i went thru the river , i was sitting under the bridge , alot of grafiti on the wall saying kill your self and things it was scary. i seen cops all over the streets. they really wasnt looking but my mother said the whole police forse was looking for me… helicopters the k-9 everyone …. i was walking and some contruction people asked why im out and not in school i said i was going on a walk me and my mom have a doctors appointment … but they called the cops .. i ran … it was 8 hrs past time … a under cover cop car caught me as i was runing threw the open field he said freeze dont move … i did not get arrested but there was alot of cops so i went back with some woman cop and she was offering me some hot wings and all to eat.. well when i got to school the cops and my mom was talking in the back i did not hear nothing .. i was eating some school lunch i was real wet and dirty from being in the river and all. when my mom came out the cops said my family did not want me. so i was going to some mental hospital …. they handcuffed me and took me away… i was thinking my family dont love me at all they really dont care i felt like crying. the cop took me n his cop car hand cuffed me first time ever in my life … some dude was speeding and asked if i wanted to pull him over i said no dont .. so he aint … he took me to a wrong place .. everyone was looking at me cuffed .. so yea then after that he found the right place … well anyways its about my life … things get worse with my family dramatic until this day i am 18 now … soon to be 19 in november .. ive been in foster care .. i been locked up … i been on house arrest … probation … car wrecks …. i drink alcohol …. anyways theres alot to my life theres many things and emotions.

I was born with a spinal deformity,called scoliosis.At 12 years old when diagnosed it became severe and i was completely deformed.my passion was that i loved fashion and clothing but couldnt wear anything other than baggy clothes to hide my deformity and body brace. it was so difficult in school being different and really hiding from the world.i just wanted to be like all the other teen girls and shop,dress up and go out.i had a life saving surgery to correct the deformity,and my life sprung from then on.i have been in the fashion industry now for 20 years and landed a job with calvin klein,opened a trendy boutique,and was just featured on tyra banks show.now i own Fashion Fix.To think that as a teen i was in hiding,deformed and now standing before Tyra as a professional stylist,my dreams have beyond come true.

I had my first son at 17 years old,and I think that changed my life in a major way. It made me the young man I am today. I just hate the fact that I have to deal with the drama from the mother of my children. I have 3 sons by 3 different ladies so I guess I was asking for it. The only thing I care about are my kids,and I think they hate to know that. I just want to be apart of their life,but they make that really hard for me. They call me every name in the book,and I guess that makes them feel better… Right now,Im just a hard working young man trying to make it out here like every other recording artist,and I just want to do this for my kids! I been thru the things that most 4o year olds go thru… but every day that just make me stronger! Also the day my Big brother got killed was a big eye opener for me,so my goal is to get out this hood!

(The Life of a Young Father)