I was tired but couldn’t sleep. I crawl out of bed to smoke a cigarette. I realize that I don’t have any cigarettes left. I start calmly searching my empty packs. I light a couple long butts and breathe in the smoke. They don’t quench the nicotine need I have. I stare out one of the three windows that make up my largest wall daring myself to leave. I slip into my jeans and my old cowboy boots, no socks. Run a hand through my hair and head down the stairs. On my way out of the building I hold the door open for two very young, drunk scene kids who moved into the room above me. Without a thank you they push past me and stumble up the stairs falling over each other and laughing. I feel like an old man at 27. I stare down Washington st and start towards Colfax. It’s a walk I’ve made countless times. It takes me to the Denver public library where I spend my days reading and people watching. There is an all night bodega near Toms Diner where I can buy cigarettes; I just hope I have enough. I scrounged all the change I had left on my window ledge. I had been saving it for just such an emergency. Money is hard to find after rent is due. My useless Literature degree doesn’t help pay the bills. I wait for the light to change at the corner of Colfax and pearl reading the bill board. A prostitute walks behind me wearing a red bikini and fake mink coat. She’s black woman with a bad weave and red acrylic nails and missing a couple teeth. We are the only two people on the street. It’s unusual for Colfax to be this deserted, even for 3:30am on a Tuesday. She says to me in a very horse voice, ‘Hey baby, looking for something fun tonight? I can make you feel great.’
‘No, thanks’ I say back still waiting for the light to change.
She asks again ‘Baby, I can make you feel so good. Better than you’ve ever felt’
I smile and reply ‘no thanks.’ She smiles back and starts to fidget with her weave and stares down at her shoes. We walk slowly across the street; she keeps my lazy pace with me. Across the street she says again ‘Baby, tonight, I’m free. I will make you feel better than anyone else ever has; you look like you need it.’
I look at her for probably a beat too long and I say ‘No, but thanks.’ We walk our separate ways on Colfax, both taking a minute to look over our shoulders and glance at each other. We were the royalty of Colfax, owners of the endless neon street. We walk away, both smiling, knowing we gave each other exactly what we needed. She knew I needed to feel wanted and I knew she needed someone to tell her No.
